Borderline Valhalla
by Chernaya-vdova
Summary: Borderline Valhalla is going to be a very adventurous story, I can tell it will be a lot of fun. It really deals with Natasha being on the borderline of death, so she spends her days in Valhalla, but she could be sucked back into her body at any time. While there she falls in love with someone, but if she returns to Midgard she will never be able to be with them, Blackfrost maybe;D
1. Chapter 1

**Borderline Valhalla**

**I am going to make a new story. Just because I feel like it, yes it is Blackfrost if you were wondering. I am going to start a Cold War fic, which is what I call the pairing anyway; some of you may call it, Captain Widow, Stasha, or whatever you want really. On with the show!**

"Clint?" I say with absolute piercing fear. _My best friend, partner, and semi-romantic acquaintance, is holding an arrow to my head, he has to be under some spell. This is Loki, not him, it has to be. I can feel tears swelling in my eyes, as I look up at him, and then he lodges the arrow in my skull. _

And, everything went black


	2. Chapter 2

ok just letting ya'll know that i changed my pen name to Chernaya vdova and i thought it was pretty clever on my part. I am very surprised no one has that name yet, it means Black Widow in Russian spelled with English characters. I am so sorry i havent updated in forver but i would like to tell you that i am working on two stories at once, which i very hard to do. I have already posted one of them Borderline Valhalla, and my other one is a sequel to Pen and Ink, ROA gave me the inspiration for the plot but i changed it dramatically because if what she ment by Keree being evil is trying to kill her parents than it's not so much. But i hope you look foward to the stories and as always i am open to ideas and seldom use them


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter two woo! This story has more Cold War than it should for being categorized as Blackfrost, it doesn't have a very happy ending for Loki, and the story is more of a one sided Blackfrost, than two sided. **

_I wake in a soft bed of grass, flowers glowing all around me and it seems to be night. I hear strange noises and sit up to find out what it is. I can almost hear voices, cold voices full of rage and ice. I am sitting up against a tree, and I am covered by a fern plant, it is glowing colors I never could have imagined. Colors humans can't even dream of, ones that aren't on our limited color scale, not even in our rainbow._

_I am still sitting against the tree when two enormous people, if they even are, walk past me. I can hear them talking about killing someone in the palace. But these aren't ordinary people; they're blue, with crimson red eyes. Monsters, I think and they turn around staring into my soul._

_I get really cold, and not just cold, but parts of my skin turn ash black. Frostbite, I can't stand it any longer and I scream in painful agony. One comes up to me and touches my face._

"You aren't dead" he says.

"Should I be?" I ask.

"You can only come here if you are dead, but you would appear in Valhalla, not the forest" he explains.

"So I am alive" I ask, even if I am freezing cold and can't move, I can still speak for myself.

"Barely, but I can help you with that" he says and smiles, evilly.

_He takes out a knife and tries to slit my throat, but it simply goes through my neck, and where a cut should be my skin glows a liquid gold._

_He stops smiling, and looks at me very fearfully, as if I'm some threat._

_He and the other monster stand up slowly and run into the forest, away from me. _

"Yeah you'd better run" I yell as they rush off.

_But they aren't running from me, i turn to see this huge dog like creature not more than a few feet away from me. It's no dog though, this thing is like seven feet tall with huge bloody claws and fangs. Its eyes gleam a glowing turquoise and actually mimic mine. Its fur is thick and smooth, but is charred off in some places, making it seem like this thing just ran through a fire. I wait about two hours before it finally goes away, or so i thought. It runs back out of the forest rushing past me not even noticing me, but the thing is probably rabid so who knows what's wrong with it._

_As I stand, I realize my injuries are far worse than I thought. I have a few cracked ribs and a major gash on my back along my spine. Not to mention frostbite, on top of everything it starts to rain, and when you're in a rain forest it can get pretty bad. So I am soaking wet cold, injured, and have no source of food, direction, or where the heck I am. _

_Why me? I think, why not Tony. So I trek through the forest only to find more forest, a cliff here and there, and a stream of blood coming from my forehead. I can't go much longer without medical attention or food or water. I climb a tree hoping to be able to see where I am going, and I can see a small hut on the other side of a river bank, but I need sleep so I curl up on a giant leaf which can surprisingly hold my weight, but the leaf is almost ten feet wide._

_I wake up to a fiery red sky, which is actually a forest fire that is spreading rapidly towards my tree. I try to climb down it but wind up falling two stories into a hard cold ground. The breath gets knocked out of my lungs and I break my leg. This is it, I am going to die, I think. I am immobile and a wall of fire is charging towards me, actually the fire kind of looks like a person._

_So I stumble to get up, and at least I can try to make it to the stream. I am almost there when the fire gets me, but a wall of water surges out of the stream and hit the fire destroying it completely. _

_I uncover my head from the curled up position that I am in, and look up to find Loki towering above me, he kneels down to be eye level with me._

"Are you alright"? He asks

"Been better" I say "was that you, the water"?

"Yes, I have a natural ability to control ice, as well as water" he says "you really need some medical assistance, I will take you back to the palace" _he picks me up and carries me to the palace which happens to be just on the other side of a cliff. _

_When we get close to the palace he gets a horse and lays me down on its back, I am in excruciating pain and can barely stay awake. I am dizzy and can't see strait from how much blood I lost. I can feel my eyes closing, and threating to close, but I am too strong to let them and I don't trust Loki._

_Even if he did save my life, I don't trust him, there has to be a reason he saved me, or else he wouldn't have. But when we get to the palace, they give me some weird liquid that puts me to sleep._

_And I dream. I dream about Clint, and Captain._

_I dream that Clint is trying to kill me for being in love with Captain, and that he will stop at nothing to get an arrow pierced through my heart I have to move of the face of the earth to get to safety. But when Clint kills Captain, I am heart broken and die along with him._

_I wake up in a cold sweat, heart pounding, hands on my shotgun. I am back in HQ which is weird because I thought I was on Asgard. Maybe it was a dream, but I wake up in the medic at HQ. I can feel a large scar on my back and on my head, black spots cover my skin, and my leg is in a cast, broken._

_It wasn't a dream, it was real, and I am twice as vulnerable because my spirit lives through two bodies. I try to stand but find that I can't, so I get in a wheel chair that is next to my bed. _

_I have always hated them, they make you weak an easier target to kill, and if Clint is trying to he'll have no problem._

_I wheel into the lab where I find Captain talking to Clint, I don't think I can speak to Clint after what he did, he tried to kill me and he wasn't under a spell either. He tried to kill me, because he knows I don't love him, he knows I love Captain. _

_I remain emotionless as I wheel past them, tears in my eyes and they silently fall down my face. Everyone stairs at me mouths ajar. Captain is actually the first one to speak, and I know it's because I look like death. _

"Oh my God" he says slowly "are you alright"?

"That's a very stupid and ignorant question, because this is your fault" I say and wheel slowly out of the room, and to my quarters. I don't even turn around to know that it's him following me.

_He opens the door to my room and pushes me inside._

"You love me"? He asks

"Yes" I say coyly

"Why" he says extremely confused, almost horrified. "Why would you love me back"?

_I am shocked that he loves me too, but before I can say anything my wounds heal, completely._

_I stand up and take off my bandages, he tries to stop me but once he sees my wounds have healed he gasps._

"Whoa, how did that" he stops because I interrupt him.

"I don't know" I say truthfully, I really don't know for sure but I think I have a clue.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter three whee! Anyone that finds my Pirates OTC reference gets an imaginary lollipop!**

_Oh good Lord where am I, is my first thought. I look up to find Loki, at my bed side, he is sitting in a chair, elbows on knees, and palms on his face. He is staring at the floor; l can tell he is worried._

_He looks up. _"Agent Romanov" he says quietly, but he says it as if referring to me, almost acknowledging me. He stands up and walks over to my bedside, l try to get up but l just happen to be in restraints.

He sits on his ankles, bending down. One hand hugging his knees and the other reaching out and stroking my face. He cut his hair since last time l saw him, and he looks less evil, more pained. His hair still touches his shoulders, but just barely.

"Stop stroking me, l'm not a pet" l say shaking my head away from his cold fingers.

"Forgive me, but you are so beautiful" he stares at me "surely you are one of Odin's own creations, such beauty and yet deadly" he ends sorrowfully

"No, you are different" l say, hoping he believes me "you saved me, l owe you"

_He looks at me, only half believingly. _

"How do l know you are telling the truth, that this is not simply another act, a believable performance" he says.

"It's not" I say.

"And you want me to believe that" he asks

"Yes" I answer.

"Then, l shall cooperate, Agent Romanov" he says. He starts to look at me a little nervously, and then he takes the chains off of my wrists. So l sit up so he can talk to me properly, and he sits on the bed next to me.

"I was wondering um, if you would join me for dinner this evening, atop the palace on the terrace" he asks. l look up at him, half smiling as the intense orange glow illuminates his face.

"Yes, of course Loki" I shouldn't be doing this, and I know it. I must get back to New York as soon as possible, or else I will be in trouble. "Actually, um no, I need to get back, uh Captain's probably worried sick about me." He fills his eyes will rage, and envy why envy? "I kind of left him hanging back there, and he's a good man it would be rude to leave him all alone back there"

_I stand to leave the room, and find my way out of here, wherever here is. But he grabs my arm and pulls me back._

"And what of me" he asks "would it not be rude to leave me here alone"?

_I get mad, and let myself show it, no mercy towards him anymore. _

_"Last time I heard, you're not a man, you're an icy psychopathic killer" I reply very harshly._

_As I walk out of the room, still in my cat suit, I see him break, walk half across the room and collapse on his knees, pathetic, and bawling like a weak and ignorant child._

_But then again, he is one. As I walk out of the room, I see a Frost Giant to my left. _

"You'd better run home little princess" he swings at my head with his fist. My first thought is, damn_._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter four and still keeping score! **

_I wake up in Captain's arms, his worried eyes searching my vitals. It seems like only seconds have passed since I was with Loki, it seems like I was with Loki for hours. _

_"_Oh good god, can I just stop passing out for once" I say

_Captain pulls me to my feet, and hugs me. I can just barely hear him crying, but judging from the wetness forming on my shoulder I can tell anyway._

"Oh my God, I thought I had lost you, never do that again" he pauses "and I'm not asking you, I'm telling you".

"Hey, it's Ok, I'm here safe and sound, a little emotionally scarred but hey, sticks and stones love" I say.

He pulls me away, hands on my shoulders. Then he lets go, and he runs his hand through his hair, puffs up his cheeks and looks at the ground taking a deep breath.

"Do you want to go grab some coffee." He says, I know he means at the small café thing we have in Shield HQ. We just got it because some agents can't stand being 20,000 feet up and having a very limited supply of coffee.

"Yea, sure Captain" I say.

* * *

We walk through the halls, his broad arm around my waist, which results in quite a few murmurs and exchanging of glances between several agents. I know he's afraid that I'll fall but I can't help but saying.

"Feeling bold today Captain" I say.

"No… it's just… um" he stammers and blushes and removes his hand "sorry"

"No it's ok, I rather like it" I say and take his hand and place it around my waist, which of course only makes him blush more.

He smiles and pulls me in closer.

When we finally sit down at the café, he rather boldly decides to sit down next to me and continues to keep his arm around me. It's a nice seat we picked, right next to a window that you can look through and see all the clouds below you.

"Hey, um Natasha" he clears his throat "what did you see when you passed out"

"Nothing, just darkness" I lie.

_He stars deeply into my eyes trying to read my soul, but I remain calm and emotionless._

"I can tell your lying, what did you really see Tasha" he says again.

_I turn my gaze away from him, hiding tears that form for a reason unknown to me._

"I didn't I just" I stop but he takes my face and moves it so I face him. We are so close to each other I can feel his breathing on my lips. Tears start to trickle down my face, and it's very painful to see him reflecting my emotion. "I've been compromised" I say with a scratchy voice.

_But he just hugs me and lets the tears fall onto his shirt, but when my breathing finally evens out I realize I have fallen asleep for only seconds before I wake again. _

_"_Well, I'm here for when you want to talk about it_" he says_

_"_No I'm fine. I was with Loki"_ I say and I can see his expression harden._

_"_Oh, what did he say?" _he asks._

"Well, I think he asked me out but of course I declined and said that you are much better a choice_" I say._

_He laughs and blushes staring out the window watching the sun set._

"You really think I'm better huh?" he asks.

"Of course I do" I reply.

"Prove it" he states trying to test me. And do I ever prove it.

_So naturally I gently grab the back of his head and lean in and kiss him. He obviously returns it and we kiss for minutes at least._

"I love you" he says exasperated.

"I love you too Steve" I say.

"Will you go out with me?" he asks

"Yes of course" and this time I mean it, I mean Clint's asked me out before but I declined, I can't date someone I intensely work with. With Steve there's a bit more leeway because I hardly ever work with him.

And since I can't go on missions anymore because my face is plastered on top of the America's most wanted list, I got stuck filing paperwork. So I have a lot more time on my hands to be in a relationship now. Which of course, I'd never think it would be with Captain America but lemons and lemonade right?

"So hey you wanna head back to my place and watch TV" I ask

"Yeah sure, sounds fun" he says. But he says it like he would rather do something else.

"What would you rather go to Swiss Alps for fondue" I ask just throwing the right touch of irony in there.

He just laughs and throws his head back, that's my Steve.

"Come on let's go back to my place, we'll put on the cooking channel" I stand up and he does the same. We walk out of the booth and as we pass the next one a voice says.

"So you two are fondueing huh" I know its Stark's so I pepper spray him in the eyes. "Ahh what is wrong with you woman?"

"You still like Pepper now" I ask him, as Steve and I walk away to my apartment. He just replies with an FU.

* * *

All evening Steve and I just sit on my couch curled up like any normal couple would, we just sit there watching the History channel. They're playing the movie Pearl Harbor, which happens to be one of Steve's favorites. I feel warm in his embrace; I lay closest to the edge and him behind me. If he wasn't holding me so tight I would have for sure fallen off.

* * *

When I wake up I see Steve beside me, things may or may have gotten sexy last night, but I love him soldier and all. I pull the sheets up against my bare chest and shiver because once I actually wake up I notice that the entire room is covered by huge icicles that hang dangerously close to me. They surround my bed and form an icy prison. I stand slowly between two of the icicles and break them off the ceiling, I continue to do that so there is no threat of them falling and killing us.

"Steve" I say and shake him awake "hey get up", I roll him over and he smiles at me.

"Good morning my Tsarina is it me or is it cold in here, or am I just not wearing any clothes?"

"Take a look around you, were trapped in an icy coffin, and you're naked"

"What?!" he exclaims and bolts upright "whoa, what happened" he shivers and wraps his arms around me, he can tell I'm cold too.

I look down at my leg and there's a blue handprint from a frost giant on it, it spreads until my entire body is blue and my eyes a crimson red. I stare at myself in one of the icicles.

"Steve" I say panicking I look at him. I can tell he's trying not to show his fear and panic but he shows extreme worry.

"Hey um, you think whatever happened in Asgard with Loki, might have been a little too intense for him?" he says.

I know that whatever he gave me not only put me to sleep, but turned me into a Frost giant. But I saw one of the frost giants turn their fists to ice before so maybe if I can do that I would free us. I go to raise my arm Steve tries to touch it.

"No don't touch me" I say quickly "you'll get frostbite" and I raise my hand and a large shard of ice slams into the ice and it all instantly melts ,and I turn back to normal.

"Whoa, that was, amazing" he says.

* * *

So many weeks passed from the ice incident, but I kept feeling the strangest pit in my stomach, I couldn't go near heat anymore because it was like torture, being a frost giant ice was my only escape, and it felt wonderfully cold and peaceful.

Actually the very next night after I got back from my first mission since dating Steve, when I was changing into a loose T-shirt, I noticed the ever so slightest bump on my abdomen. I panicked, I lifted my shirt again and looked in the mirror.

I'm pregnant.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter five and still alive! sorry love if during this story Natasha is a little (a lot) OOC, *shrugs* sticks and stones love**

_Oh god I thought, how am I going to tell Steve. I mean I've probably gone through a lot worse than this but still, I don't know if I want to spend my life with him yet. So I run through the halls dodging anything in my way, and I finally reach Steve's office I stand outside the door and take a breath because my life is about to change, forever. _

_I open the door "_Steve?" I say. I find him staring outside his window and since we are above New York city I figure he's focusing on the past.

"Hey Tasha, what's going on love" he asks.

"Nothing much, but um there's something I have to tell you Steve" I say.

"Wait, are you breaking up with me" he says sadly.

"No that's not it, not at all come here" I say and sighs with relief. He comes to stand next to me and I hug him and he rests his chip atop my head. I take his hand in mine and place it on my abdomen, and I hope he can feel the almost nonexistent kick inside of me.

"Wait are you serious Nat?!" He asks with excitement "I'm a father, this is amazing Tasha".

"Really?" I ask. "Prove it".

"OK will you marry me" he asks as he gets down with the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. "Natasha you are the most beautiful, smartest, scariest, but sweetest person I have ever met, please say yes".

"Yes, Steve" I say whilst my hands cover my mouth. He get up puts the ring on me and hugs me, spinning me around.

"Hey I know this might be a little old fashioned for you but would you like to take a road trip with me, get out of here for a few days, we could go upstate New York, or out east if you want"?

"Yeah sure, upstate sounds fun doesn't SHIELD have a house up there we could borrow"?

"Yes but, I was figuring while were up there we could look for a house ourselves, I mean that is unless you want to keep working for SHIELD or get one on the Island."

"No, I love upstate New York, it's quiet" I say.

_When we arrive at the house, it feels weird like were being watched. When we enter the house I hear a loud bang from the kitchen, and while Steve's outside getting our luggage I decide to check it out._

_Gun drawn I enter the kitchen, and there is a massive cougar hissing at me. It snarls loudly and Steve rushes in and he freezes, because the cat is only inches away from me. But I wait until it gets close enough, and I shoot it. My heart pounding, Steve grabs me back into his arms and encases me as I stand in shock. We go back into the car and we stay in the back seat and he rocks me back and forth. That's where I fall asleep that night, with him in the back of our black Jeep. _

_But while I drift off, I can hear him singing, and I think it's Miserable by Mayday Parade._

"…Tasha don't cry I know you're trying your hardest, and the hardest part is letting go of the nights we shared, New York City is calling and I know it's haunting but compared to your eyes nothing shines quite as bright" I don't hear the next part.

"Let's not pretend like your alone tonight, I know he's there and, you're probably hanging out and making eyes, across the room he stares, and he gets the nerve to walk the floor and ask my girl to dance she'll say yes"

And I close my eyes, and wake to see dark hair and green eyes staring back.

**Epic cliffhanger, sorry I try since I'm writing this in a car upstate New York. Well sorry if the lyrics are wrong there's no WIFI and I'm trying to remember them best I can. :D**


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys and gals! I just wanted to thank you all for the amazing responses to my stories, you guys have all favorited and followed them and I truly believe that you deserve a quick thank you. I would also like to take this time to apologize for not uploading fast enough, and for the next week I won't be uploading cause I will be on vacation. I will be leaving on Monday and coming back Saturday late at night. But you are lucky, because this is a car trip so I will dedicate my 9-11 hour car trip there and back to writing for you guys. Right now I am trying to write as much I can but tomorrow I gotta go to a party and Sunday I have to pack so I will upload whatever I write either on Saturday night ( if you're lucky) or Sunday morning, probably around 10 or so. Take into consideration that I will be getting back at around 11:00 pm -2:00 am so don't get, your hopes up, it's going to take a lot to keep me from uploading but since my computer is so slow I might wait until the morning. And you never know I might post something over the week just to let you know how's it going and I might drop a few details here and there. Actually I just uploaded a new story and if you have any suggestions I would be more than happy to incorporate them into it. And don't forget when school starts I won't be uploading during the week, only weekends. I am sorry but this is a huge year, 8th grade, and I probably won't upload anything from September to like the end or middle of October, because I have to take a Catholic High school entrance exam (CO-OP). I am crazy nervous for High school because I can only imagine how hard it will be. But I can't wait until Christmas break when I can o my very first Avengers Christmas fic, gonna be so much fun.

**Do me a huge favor and let everyone you know about my stories, I want to get a lot of people to read them, it would mean a lot to me. Thanks Again!**

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	8. Chapter 8

hello my friends I am coming back to a normal life tomorrow, but for today i shall still be on vacay, sorry. I promise to upload something asap on Monday morning, promise no excuses this time. I've been working a lot so be excited.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter seven my favorite number is eleven, it's not really it's 32, don't ask.**

"There is more to you than what meets the eye, is there not" he is trying to frighten me, and it's not working. "On the outside, you seem cold and heartless, but on the inside, I am surprised to find a part of you that can love"

"I'm full of surprises" I try to make him think that I'm letting him on to something, and he takes the bait.

"Oh really, well did you know that if he even steps foot onto Asgardian soil, I will stab you so hard that you will wish you never lived" he snarls.

"I won't let you, you wouldn't even dare do that to me" I say defiantly.

"And why ever not Natasha" he asks.

"You love me don't you?" I say.

"And where did you hear that?" he says.

"You told me yourself, indirectly" I say "you were diffidently showing the signs of it, like for example when you broke down crying on the floor, weak and pathetic, like a child that didn't get what he wants"

"You, you saw that?" he says, he almost trembles. "Natasha, I'm sorry, I just, ever since I met you, you were just, amazing" he says. I sense no sarcasm or lying coming from him.

"I have to go, once again I'm truly sorry" he says and he gets up and leaves.

I will have to make a decision; if I want to live I will have to pretend to love Loki, enough so that he believes he can trust me. And when he finally decides that am trustworthy, and he frees me from these chains, I will escape. Of course that is a dangerous game because if he finds out he will destroy Steve and me, and there is that small possibility I may just fall in love with him. But if I play my cards right I can escape, and this might be my only chance.

"Loki?" I say rather loudly, but I pretend to be weak, so that he'll feel sorry for me, "I'm cold".

He walks over to the small wooden chest in the middle of the room, and he pulls out a small but thick woolen blanket, and he comes over to me. He drapes in over my shoulders and kneels down beside me. He stares into my eyes.

"Take me with you" I say, whilst small tears fall silently to the floor from my eyes. "Please, Loki" I whisper seductively. And he does not resist to take a key out and unchain me, but I can't run just yet, he'll only follow and catch up with me, or trap me.

He leans in close to me as I'm still kneeling, and he stares at me with apologetic eyes. He leans in and kisses me, really quite roughly though. Although what would you expect from an evil mastermind.

"Natasha, I love you so much" he says whilst still kissing me. "If you could just forget about Steve we could stay together… run away if you want… but I promise, I will not harm you or the child… please I will protect you and care for you… and I will love you always… I can find a way to make you immortal and we can live with each for always." He says pausing briefly, and the scary truth is I think I want to believe him, or maybe I just took this too far, there will be no escape for me now.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter eight I'm so great! It's like 6:00 here in Bar Harbor Maine and after a nice and long 13 hour car ride, I am exhausted. I cannot write and post at the same time so these intros are from like 5 days ago. Right now it's like, what the 12****th**** but I won't wind up posting this until the 19****th****, sorry L.**

"Loki I cannot, as much as I want to I at least have to say goodbye to Steve first, I can't just leave him, I'm sorry" and there is no acting in what I say, I truly mean it, and I think I just lost Steve for good.

"Natasha, I will bring you back, I will go with you but please after that return with me" he offers and pleads.

"I will, I will go back and say goodbye and I will return with you" I say, I can't do this, but if it's my only way back to Steve, to home, to a normal life, but if I can end this double life thing, I will.

He takes my hands to help me get up, and we walk through the hall being careful that no one sees me. We run down the Bifrost and into its chambers.

"Heimdall I must return this young maiden to Midgard, she has to return" he says panicking a little, and I wonder if he really does care for me, I hope he doesn't because he will be crushed.

"To Midgard you say, be careful and try not to destroy it this time" he says. With that we are rushed through a series of golden streaks and are back in Central Park, at night.

"I have to get to the Tower, the Avengers will know where Steve is and the other me," I guess.

I know that Steve is waiting for me there because through my other body I can tell that I'm in the tower with him and in a coma. So we walk down a couple of blocks in silence and we reach the tower, JARVIS reluctantly opens the door and we ride the elevator to the top floor. We walk in to see Tony staring across the room and out the window, Bruce is nursing a cup of coffee, Thor is sitting on a chair with his face resting on his palms with sorrow. Clint is just lying on the couch staring at the ceiling, and Steve is. He isn't there.

I walk in to the room but no one looks up.

"Hello, guys?" No one even flinches. I walk around shouting at them and waving my hands in front of their faces. "What did you do Loki they can't hear or see me".

"Oh yes, well I figured that they wouldn't let you return to Asgard with me and they would put me in chains again, so I made us phantoms"

"What?!" I say.

"Well, they can't see or hear us, so they really can't interrupt your adieu" he says "to them we are nothing but a breeze of air drifting through the room"

With that, I lose it I finally run through the hall and into the medic. I guess that since I'm dead if I can rejoin with my body I might be able to come back to life, Loki is running after me but I run into the medic and start shaking Steve's shoulder in panic. I scream his name but nothing works, I see my body on a hospital like bed, and a dead heart monitor next to it. He thinks I'm dead, they all do. I see Loki burst open the door and Steve jumps he stands up and walks backwards in fear, even if he can't see Loki, the door still bursts open. Loki tries to grab me but I lay down inside my dead body.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter nine and I'm doing fine. This is the one, the one truly sad chapter out of them all, however this isn't really quite the sad environment I am in the car in Massachusetts it's 11:24 am and the radio is playing "Brown Eyed Girl" which is a very happy go lucky song so I am waiting to write until it's over. "Do you remember when, we used to sing shalalalalalalalalalala" **

It takes a few minutes but my eyes flutter open to see Steve standing next to me. He rushes to my side and looks at me in disbelief.

"Tasha?!" he says. "Oh my God" he pulls me in and kisses me, and then he hugs me tightly. "I… I thought you were… dead?"

"Am I not?" I ask.

He starts crying so hard it makes me cry too, he shakes and trembles so much like an abused animal.

I can hardly hear what he says because he shakes so hard.

"I was …so afraid …Tasha" he stammers, "I thought… you were dead… and the baby t-too"

"I am so sorry Steve, but I am here now and we are together, and we will be forever. We can get married now, and the baby, we can start a family together". I say whilst tears pour from my face, I show no sign of it, my voice is still strong and I only tremble because it's really Steve, we are here now, for real.

"Ok, but as long as the house isn't upstate, let's just stay here in the tower, Ok?" he asks.

"Ok Steve, we'll stay here, and the child will have four barmy uncles to help him." I say. "And you know we still haven't told them yet, or did you".

"No they were upset enough, I didn't want them to be worse" he says.

"Ok well, let's just break the news to them after they find out I'm here" I say. "Do they even know, about us I mean? They don't know were engaged do they?"

"No, I wanted it to be a surprise when we got back from upstate but, you died" Steve says quietly.

"How did you get here anyway" he asks.

"Боже мой (oh my god) it's a rather long story Steve ok, I'll tell you later." I say.

"Ok Tasha, I can wait until later" he says "I'm just glad to have you back".


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 10 I need a pen (or two for school). I wrote these chapters together, chapter 9 and 10, the last one isn't sad at all this one is.**

I can see Loki materialize in the door frame, and he walks over to the bed. Steve sees him and stands up.

"So, this truly is where your heart lies Natasha" he states, "all that you said to me was a lie" he raises his voice "because no matter how much you pretend to love me… I see tears in his eyes, my heart beat quickens. I feel my face getting warm and my breathing slows dramatically.

"You could never love a frost giant could you?" he yells while he is still crying. He grabs my neck and tries to choke me.

"Leave her out of this Loki, it's me that she's in love with, if you kill me then she will only be but left to you" Steve says.

Loki let go of my neck, and I took a huge breath in, and sat up.

"Loki, if you truly love me you would leave me alone" I say and he turns around to me, "but I guess you really don't love me, and you must know that if you take me the second I get a chance I will kill you, or I could just scream right now and the Avengers will come to my aid".

While Loki is busy being distracted by me, Steve sends out a text on his phone, I'm guessing to the Avengers, and hopefully for help.

But Loki catches him in the corner of his eye, he turns around.

"You're a cruel man Steve Rogers" he says.

"Cruel is a matter of perspective" he says.

"Oh is it now" Loki says, and he stabs Steve in his stomach with his ice blade arm.

I gasp in shock and put my hands up to my mouth. Loki disintegrates into a mist of air, back into a phantom, and is gone.

I run over to Steve and the rest of the guys run through the door but stop dead in their tracks. They watch as I try to help keep Steve alive, telling him to stay with me and not to close his eyes.

"Steve, stay with me now it'll be ok, you're fine, you'll be all right" I say.

"Tasha, you know I love you right?" Steve asks. "And I want you to move on, find someone who loves you, the same way I do. I want you to name the baby Steven if it's a boy, ok. In memory of me, just so I'm sure that you'll remember me".

"Steve, I will never forget you, I promise. But I don't know if I can move on, I love you too much"

Steve's eyes start to fall but he is still awake, and he start's to sing.

His voice is rusty and crackles a little as he does, but I can still hear what he says.

"Tasha don't cry I know, that you're trying your hardest" he stops and tries to breath.

"And the hardest part is letting go" I continue for him. But I too stop because I am crying and I look down at the pool of blood coming from Steve, Tony has called the ambulance but I'm afraid they won't get here in time.

"Of the nights we shared, even though I am dying" he says. "And I know it's haunting but compared to your eyes nothing shines quiet as bright, and when I look to the stars you're not mine but I want you so". He reaches out his hand and lifts my chin to see his eyes.

"Let's just pretend that were alone tonight, like nobody's here and, were just hanging out and making eyes while at the city we both stare, and that I get the nerve to walk the floor and ask my girl to dance"

"She'd say yes" I finish; Steve's eyes are closed already so he never heard me, but I have to stand up because the paramedics are here. All at once it seems like the world is moving in slow motion, the medics take Steve away and Clint pulls me into his arms while I cry. "I can't live without you so, without you I'll kill myself at best."

"Clint" I say.

"Yeah Tash, I know, I'm here" he says. "So, there's gonna be like a little Steve here huh"

"No, if Steve doesn't make it, I'm going to put it up for adoption, I don't know if I could bare it" I say.

"Tasha, no, if that's what you're going to do then I'll keep it" he says. "You saw what happened to Loki, didn't you"

I start to cry, I don't even want to hear his name any longer.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He says, "I'm sorry for everything actually"

"It's ok; this isn't your fault it's mine" I say "and Clint".

"Yeah" he says.

"I want you to be the father, if he doesn't make it" I ask.

"Really, I thought we were over Tasha" he asks.

"No, not really" I say, "I still love you, just not as much as Steve".

"Oh, that's understandable" he says.

We walk to his car; the guys have left already so his car is the only one in the driveway. I feel this cold doubt settle in me, and I have to admit, I'm really scared. I miss Steve so much already. Clint drives the long road to the hospital; I rest my head on his shoulder because I'm tired from crying so much. I wake up when we reach the hospital, but I am so very tired.

"Tasha, do you want to go inside, or wait till the morning, it's already 2:00 am?" he asks.

"Yeah, I want to wait, they probably aren't letting people see him yet anyhow" I say.

He pulls the seats back so were lying down, and he puts his arm around me. The last thing I see is a dark shadow, and I drift into a poisonous dream.

_"You lie, and kill in the service of liars and killers", my eyes open to darkness. I see something flash behind me, something running near me, I turn around._

"Hello Natasha" a cruel voice says. There's an accent I know, it's silky cruel and … Asgardian.


	13. This is the end, sort of

**Chapter eleven and go back to read seven.**

"Go away" I say.

"Oh no I am simply here to check on your wellbeing" he says.

"Why would you care, you tried to kill me only an hour ago" I say.

"Did you not know" he says and almost laughs. "The child is not of Steve Rogers, Natasha, it is mine"

No, no, no . It can't be, it's just. I feel cold, not like cold, but frosty cold. I know what a Frost giant feels like, it feels overwhelmingly freezing, and that's how I feel, freezing cold and tired.

"Did I also fail to mention that Steve is dead, he died no more than minutes after you left" he says. "And now, you are but left to me".

No, Steve is alive, I have to believe it. A strange knowledge is in me though, it is far more advanced than anything I know, and I can tell things. Steve is dead, he is, I am overwhelmed with grief. I run over to the nearest window and break the glass, I take a shard and slit my wrists and stab my stomach, repeatedly.

"No, I will not be yours" those are my last words, before I die.

**I told you this would be sad. I am done now, that's it. On to greener pastures as far as my stories go. Cheerio! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter twelve what rhymes with twelve? Hey if Robin Thicke can do that so can I! **

The orange light of the sunrise hits my face, waking me up. It was just a dream, just a dream. I sit up and hit my head on the ceiling of the car.

"Ow" I say, and I curse in Russian.

"Good morning Tasha" Clint says "are you ready to go see Steve".

"Yeah, I just need to take a walk first" I say, I need an excuse to check my wrists, alone. If he saw me he might think I'm suicidal.

"Ok, would you like me to come with you?" he asks.

"Um no, I need to get some things cleared out of my head first" I lied, it might be a bad idea to go alone, but I know that I won't go very far. So I step out of the car and just walk down the sidewalk, of course since this is New York City, it is very crowded.

* * *

I walk into Central Park; it looks pretty in the spring. But no one is in it, it's completely deserted. It feels strange, like I'm being watched, and a hand goes up to my neck with a knife. My hand's go up to my neck, I'm keeping the knife from going into my throat, but the hand is very strong, and the knife gets closer and closer.

"Did you miss me Agent Romanoff?" he asks.

* * *

"Clint!" I scream, and I see him on the other side of the street. He runs towards me but Loki starts to back away from him, still holding a knife to my neck.

"You think you can stop me Agent Barton, no you have no idea what you're dealing with you…" he stops short and falls to the ground.

I turn around and find Darcy right behind me, my jaw drops, only because I couldn't breathe.

"What he was creeping me out?" she says.

"Oh my god" I don't even bother to thank Darcy yet, I am just so in shock. "Let's get out of here"

"What happened Tasha?" Clint asks.

"What do you think Barton" I snap, I am so annoyed at his ignorance, what does it look like "he tried to kill me, he came up from behind me and tried to cut my neck open" I pause to catch my breath, but I am still fuming. "and Darcy actually saved me, not that I need saving, I'm more than capable, but that's because you are too slow, I thought archers were supposed to be fast, and if so you're a pretty god damn bad one," I turn to Darcy "thank you by the way Darcy"

"Any time" she replies, and stands proud.

"Tasha, I'm tired of saying sorry to you, you know, because whenever I say something you always have to snap at me, you're such an ignorant bitch. And you know what, have fun raising your child on your own, because quite frankly I think we were over a long time ago" he says and walks away, back towards the hospital.

_So I'm left alone to stand there._

_In shock,_

_In pain,_

_And scared._


End file.
